She came up to me after a session at a conference I spoke at recently. She had but one thing she wanted to say: “Thank you for saving my life.”
She told me about her months-long struggle with postpartum depression. How she didn’t want to live. How she didn’t know how she could keep going in the dark hole she was in.
There seemed no way out. She was tired of waking up everyday with an oppressive black cloud hanging over her head.
She was lifeless and hopeless. And suicide seemed like the best answer.
But then, when she was at rock bottom, she read my post about my own journey with postpartum depression. And for the first time in months, she saw a ray of hope… and she realized that maybe what she was experiencing was depression.
No one had mentioned it to her. She had never even considered it as a possibility.
Had I not posted about it, she told me she didn’t think she would have made that doctor’s appointment, sought that medical help, and, after months of treatment, climbed up out of that pit of depression and starting living with energy and joy again.
News of Robin Williams’ death reminded me of this woman’s story. And of why those of us who have gone through depression need to be sharing our stories. Because if one life can be spared as a result of our willingness to speak out, it is so very worth it.
I listened to the reporters on TV and I kept hearing them say that Robin’s suicide was “incomprehensible”.
Every time they said that word, it upset me. Because those of us who have survived depression or who are struggling through depression know how far you can spiral down and how black the hole can be.
It’s far from “incomprehensible” to us who have been in that lonely, dark, and suffocating pit. As Ann Voskamp wrote:
We could tell you what we know.
That — depression is like a room engulfed in flames and you can't breathe for the sooty smoke smothering you limp — and suicide is deciding there is no way but to jump straight out of the burning building.
That when the unseen scorch on the inside finally sears intolerably hot – you think a desperate lunge from the flames and the land of the living seems the lesser of two unbearables.
That's what you're thinking — that if you'd do yourself in, you'd be doing everyone a favor.
I don’t know what was going through Robin’s head and heart when he made a decision to end his life, but I do know the desperation that can take you to that place.
If you are in that desperate place right now, I want you to know that there is a way out of that pit.
Please, please, please, don’t hide your pain and hurt and desperation. Reach out to family, friends, and wise professionals. Find a safe place to talk about how much you’re struggling. Schedule an appointment with your doctor. Talk to your pastor or counselor.
Don’t try to hold on and pretend you are okay when you feel like everything inside of you is screaming out that it’s not. There is hope. There is healing. Reach out today and ask for help… before it’s too late.
