Whew! Last week felt like a emotional roller coaster and I struggled to focus or get things done (anyone else??). Not did we get back home from our trip to Gatlinburg on Monday night, so we kind of started the week “behind”, but then there was the election (we had a party with some of Kathrynne’s friends and stayed up WAY TOO LATE!), but also Champ had an important court date on Tuesday and there were a lot of emotions that came with that.
By Wednesday, I felt like I needed to sleep for 20 hours… but instead of sleeping, I kept obsessively checking news websites! I’m guessing some of you can relate! 🙂
By Thursday, I decided that I was going to declare the week a “throwaway week” — I know that flies in the face of what any productivity guru or intentional living expert would advise, but I’m just keeping it real. Some weeks, you hit a lot of home runs… other weeks, you just seem to not even be able to make one single swing!
But I did cross a few things off the list, we did get some clarity on Champ’s case and feel a real peace about how things are progressing there, and I’ve decided I need to mostly take a breather from watching/checking the news obsessively! So it’s a new week and I’m hopeful I’ll be able to have a bit more focus and motivation!
Here’s an update on my goals:
This Week’s Goals
Personal Goals
1. Get 48,000 steps in.
2. Read 5 chapters of Atomic Habits. Read 5 chapters of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.
3. Listen to five hours of The Body Keeps the Score.
4. Do pelvic floor exercises at least four times.
Home/Family Goals
5. Read 10 pages of A Boy’s War as a family.
6. Read three chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the babies and Silas.
Business Goals
7. Put together quiz for my new book.
8. Map out plans for book launch.
9. Put together two gift guides for Christmas.
Word of the Year Goals (my word is “savor”)
10. Watch an episode of The Amazing Race as a family.
This Week’s Goals
Personal Goals
1. Get 48,000 steps in.
2. Read 5 chapters of Atomic Habits. Read 5 chapters of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.
3. Finish listening to The Body Keeps the Score.
4. Do pelvic floor exercises at least four times.
Home/Family Goals
5. Read 10 pages of A Boy’s War as a family.
6. Read three chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the babies and Silas.
7. Work on photo book for Champ.
Business Goals
8. Map out dates and project timelines for my book launch.
9. Put together two gift guides for Christmas.
Word of the Year Goals (my word is “savor”)
10. Watch an episode of The Amazing Race as a family.
I posted this on Instagram last week and thought it might encourage some of you:
God doesn’t give you grace for the future. He gives you grace for today.
The first month after we brought Champ home from the NICU, I spent many hours in the middle of the night holding him, singing to him, praying for him, and shedding tears over the thought of eventually letting him go. I had only known him a few weeks and yet my mama bear heart was madly, deeply in love with him. The thought of saying goodbye to him and never seeing him again was so excruciatingly painful to even consider.
I remember thinking, “I don’t know how I could ever do that! It feels too hard!”
And yet, here we are, 7 months later and likely just days or weeks away from him going back to his mama. And I’m here to tell you that God has been so faithful.
Instead of dread and anguish, I actually feel so much hope, excitement, and joy — for him and his mama. She’s worked so hard to be able to get healthy enough to bring him back home. I can’t help but cheer for her. The delight he brings to her and the way I see him bonding with her… it moves me at a deep level.
Yes, there has been intense grief in our home over processing saying goodbye. And yet, like one of our kids said recently, “How could we selfishly want him to stay when he has a mama who cares for him and has worked so hard?”
There are definitely still many unknowns and what ifs. I could spend a lot of time and energy playing those out in my head. But, we trust that the God who loves this adorable boy even more than we do is going to watch over him in the future. And I rest in that.
7 months ago, the thought of being here was overwhelming. I didn’t know how I’d be able to walk it. But that’s because God wasn’t giving me grace for the future.
Instead of sitting in fear over the future, stressing over the unknowns of tomorrow, or wasting energy worrying about what ifs, I want to rest in the goodness and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. He has been faithful and He will be faithful. And I can trust that whatever the future holds, He isn’t giving me the grace for it right now, but He will give me grace for it exactly when I need it.
