Guest post from Jen of Working At Homeschool
Recently, our family was invited to dinner with a friend from out of town. He had invited several other families as well, and we thought it was important to go.
Our “eating out” budget was completely gone for the month, but we decided it was worth it to move some budget categories around to spend time with someone we care about.
At the dinner, we were seated with a bigger family we'd never met before, along with our friend from out of town. We had a wonderful time and I felt we had made the right decision in terms of finding the money for this special dinner.
When we were ready to leave, we asked for the bill and started getting our 5 young kids ready to go. The other family with teenaged kids was out the door in a flash (no diaper bags or sippy cups to gather up). We said our goodbye, wished them well, and waited for our bill.
Then the bill for our table came.
Immediately, we realized that we were not only going to have to pay for our family, but also for the new family we had just met… the new family with teenagers who had ordered and eaten A LOT of food!
I'm not going to lie — I felt sick to my stomach!
Although I was sure they didn't stick us with the bill on purpose, I was frantically trying to figure out where the money would come from while simultaneously trying to act gracious in front of the other guests. I say "trying to act gracious" because that was all it was – an act. I couldn't believe that we were stuck with this bill and I couldn't believe we were going to be out so much more money than we had planned!
My husband, who is much more laid-back than my ISTJ personality type, smiled (somewhat grimly), shrugged, and seemed ready to move on. But not me! I couldn't stop thinking about it.
On the way home, I kept asking questions like, "Do you think they just forgot? Did one spouse think the other already paid? Did they think we are rich?" That last one made us both laugh out loud.
I kept stewing on this (thinking about how many hours of work went into paying for that meal) when I went to bed that night… and when I woke up the next morning… and beyond.
Then finally, a little voice (not in my head, it was the real voice of one of my kids) said, "Mom, I thought you said we can always afford to be generous?"
Cue the mom guilt. Or maybe "conviction" is a better word.
While my budget is important, and saving money in these leaner times is important, aren't people more important?
By focusing on how I felt "forced" to pay for dinner, then dwelling on it for so long, I had been teaching my kids that money was my top priority. My daughter's reminder hit me hard — people are always more important than my budget — and if blessing someone else put us in a more difficult financial place for the remaining week of the month, was that really such a big deal?
I do frequently remind my children that they can always afford to be generous. Of course, when I'm telling them to be generous I'm talking about the three dollars in their piggy banks or their toys. I didn't imagine that those words would come back to haunt me about my money!
I couldn't change the fact that we had gotten stuck with the bill. I couldn't go back in time and choose a do-over (one in which I stall the family while the waiter brings the bill), but I COULD choose gratitude that we'd had a chance to bless someone else, to be selfless and generous. I could choose thankfulness for the opportunity to teach my kids about what's truly important in life (I sure messed that one up).
I know my family has been blessed by others who have treated us to a meal out – why couldn't I joyfully do the same for someone else?
I chose to change my attitude. I chose to model love for people that we didn't really know. I know that we aren't in a financial position to volunteer to give financially to other families all the time, but this experience has taught me that I should be on the lookout for opportunities to bless others in other ways as much as possible.
And the next time I'm in a position to love people more than my budget, I am going to choose people.
Jen is a work-at-home homeschooling mom who works part-time on her website, part-time for a non-profit ministry, and full-time wrangling her 5 young kids. Jen writes passionately about Bible-based homeschooling, organization, healthy gluten-free food, and meal planning. Her website, WorkingAtHomeschool.com, was featured in the best-selling Trim Healthy Mama Plan book as a meal-planning resource.
photo source
