I just finished reading a pre-release copy of Alli Worthington's Breaking Busy book that comes out in January 2016. I've loved this book! It's chock-full of all kinds of helpful advice, tips, and inspiration on living life more slowly with purpose.
One of the quotes that jumped out at me was this:
"Our lives have gotten so cluttered with things we think we should do, that we can't figure out what we were meant to do. Let your life be about what you were meant to do, not full of what you think you should do. This starts with your daily decisions about how you spend your time."
Alli then goes on to encourage you to create a Stop Doing List - a list of items you intentionally decide to not do so that you can focus your time and energy on your greatest priorities.
She says the best way to identify what you need to stop doing is by asking yourself these two questions:
- What is sucking the life right out of me?
- Does this activity get me closer to reaching my goals?
As someone who loves to-do lists and goals, I thought this was a really great way to create a "stop doing" list. I have found so much liberation in doing just a few things well, and I have really been working on streamlining and delegating tasks in my life to allow more free space for myself.
Three strategies that have been helping me to carve out more free space in my day and live are:
1. Waiting to check email until after 12:30 p.m.
This has made a massive difference in my life. I thought I had to be on top of email, but I realized that this was my own personal obligation, and that I can choose when I check my email.
It has been liberating to have an email-free morning without distractions.
2. Thinking three to four times before saying yes.
This is something I've really, really been working on. I've always been a "yes" girl. I want to help everyone in every way with everything. And that's a surefire recipe for exhaustion!
Lately, I've made it a goal to really think about whether or not I truly have the time to commit to something. Instead of just instantly trying to figure out a way to make something happen, I instead think about the sacrifices it will require, the other responsibilities that may fall by the wayside as a result, and whether there is room on my calendar.
As an Introvert, I've realized I have a lot less capacity than an Extrovert might have. I can't just go-go-go-go. Or flit from activity to activity to activity without time to breathe and rest and refuel in between. I'm trying to do a better job of reminding myself of this, as well.
This past Saturday, I asked my friend if we could push our regular coffee date back two hours and meet at 10 a.m. instead of 8 a.m. since I knew I'd be exhausted from my book launch and traveling. Giving myself grace to sleep in and have a leisurely Saturday morning before our coffee date made the day go so much better… and I wouldn't have thought to ask about this had I not taken a few minutes to think before saying "yes" when she texted to ask if we could meet on Saturday.
3. Asking My Husband Before Making a Commitment
My husband knows me better than anyone else in the world, and I've found that he has such great wisdom when it comes to helping me determine what to say yes to and what to say no to. Sometimes, I'll totally convince myself that I have the time and energy to do something, but then when I ask him, he'll help me think more realistically about the situation.
For instance, I was asked to go out to dinner with some dear friends who were in town on Sunday night. I wanted to say yes, but we already had our community group that night and the dinner was going to be quite a ways away from our house.
As much as I would have loved to say yes to a fun dinner out with friends, my husband helped me realize I needed a quiet evening at home after a big week. As I considered things more, I knew he was right. And a quiet Sunday evening ended up being exactly what I needed!
What's on YOUR Stop Doing List? Or what do you need to put on your Stop Doing List?
